SAN DIEGO (CBS 8) - Around this time of the year, there are many tried and true holiday traditions. This is one of our favorites here at News 8.
In this story, Larry Himmel presents his annual parody of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."
Twas the night before Christmas, here at News 8.
The mood was just joyous, cuz the ratings were great.
While the crew was busily preparing the news
I was curled up in my office for an afternoon snooze.
In the back, the photogs who are naughty and nice
Were spiking the eggnog and shooting some dice.
On guard for breaking news at least 'til eleven
And hoping that somehow, they wouldn't throw seven.
When out on Engineer Road there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sliegh, and eight (of course) tiny reindeer.
Out from the sleigh came a guy in a pimped out suit
With shiny disco boots and a bag full of loot.
Suddenly things started to go really wrong
When the reindeers went Nick Novak all over our lawn.
I stared at the fat guy, and asked him quite candid
"Hey, old man, aren't you that Geezer Bandit?"
He just laughed "ho, ho, ho." That jolly old soul
Then tried to bean me with a handful of coal.
Onto his back, Santa lifted a big heavy bag
Filled to the brim with all sorts of swag.
And into the newsroom, he brought all his stash
For Meteorologist Shawn Styles, a big wad of cash.
For Kimberly and Adrienne, a big diamond ring
For Rekha and Gentry, all sorts of bling.
While Dan Cohen was snug in his little nook.
Carefully reading his new Christmas book.
Santa worked really fast, cuz time was really tight
He had to occupy the North Pole by the end of the night.
So he was gone in just the blink of an eye.
Urging his coursers to take to the sky.
Now Dasher and Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen
On Harold and Kumar, on Agnew and Nixon.
From the top of the roof, to the top of the hill.
Holding his nose, over the Miramar Landfill.
Up the 15 with the speed of a jet plane
It didn't long, Santa took the HOV lane.
And I heard him explain as he rode out of sight,
"Coal in your stocking if you don't watching News 8 tonight!"
