SAN DIEGO (CBS 8) - Much like the lost episode of "I Love Lucy" or the missing 18 minutes from the Nixon tapes, literary scholars have recently uncovered a forgotten sonnet believed to have penned by the Bard of Avon in 1594.
The sonnet is included in an updated collection of Shakespeare's works. On the eve of Valentine's Day, it seems a perfect fit. So here, for the first time ever on television, is Shakespeare's sonnet number 13 1/2.
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
None comes to right me,
Just give thine a few days.
Love can be forsooth
A feeling so divine.
Love can be uncouth
Like too much two-buck wine.
Thee intoxicate begin
Thy feminine pulchritude.
A feeling deep within
Like eating bad Mexican food.
For love can sustain hon
In trouble and in strife.
Or rip thou a new one
Just like Tom Brady's wife.
When you find true love
Nothing is quite as sweet.
Wear it like a velvet glove
And occasionally rub her feet.
Dost thou need not worry
When love renders you unkind.
To thy iPhone scurry
And find thy mate online.
Ah, but worry of the scam
When seeking love remote.
Doth thou lie down with the lamb
And wake-up with a goat.
The cost of sending flowers
And candy and gifts of such
We could go on for hours
But thou dost protest too much.
Willst thou buy a gift
From whence thy budget blown.
To give thine love a lift
Or risk sleeping alone.
For it is Valentine's Day.
Et tu, brute?
