Himmel's 'Night Before Christmas' - San Diego, California News Station - KFMB Channel 8 - cbs8.com

Himmel's 'Night Before Christmas'

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'Twas the night before Christmas

Here at CBS News 8.

The reporters were jolly

'Cause the ratings were great.

 

Drinking their mochas and lattes half-caf

Knowing tomorrow they'd make time and a half

Hoping that today would just be a cruise

And not one filled with breaking news.

 

I was in my office all snug and warm

Quietly perusing the racing form.

Thinking the quickest way to get back home

Was just to write another silly poem.

 

When suddenly there arose such a clatter

I sprang from desk to see what was the matter

And I thought to myself, what in creation

Maybe another camel was loose in the station.

 

I went to the window and pulled up from the sill

And I shut it back down, when I smelled the landfill.

But out on the lawn, I spied right in front of the station

Eight tiny reindeer that had slipped through immigration.

 

A jolly fat man tumbled out of the sleigh

With a bag full of goodies, he headed our way.

He had only gifts for only News 8's good girls and boys

Which meant once again, I wouldn't get any toys.

 

For Abbie, just what she wanted, some diamond earrings

For Shannon, a bracelet that's bling, bling, bling bling.

For Shawn Styles, a watch is sure to please.

For Phil, a pair of superman BVDs.

 

For Steve Price, a cup for the holidays

For Natasha, a pair of comfy PJs.

Then the jolly fat man with a heart full of soul

Left my stocking with a big lump of coal.

 

And when he had finished he left in a flash

Faster than Phillip Rivers runs a 40-yard dash.

He flew out the door and jumped in his sleigh.

It happened so fast, I almost lost my toupee.

 

When he called out his coursers, quickly they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

On Beiber and Sholmo and Snoop Dog and Kylie

On Klunky and Kanye, and please cover up Miley.

 

And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight

You'll get coal in your stocking, if you don't watch CBS News 8 tonight.

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