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Let them prom: California parents organize their own proms for seniors when schools won't

With some schools are skipping prom because of COVID-19 restrictions, parents are taking matters into their own hands and throwing proms of their own.

SAN DIEGO COUNTY, Calif. — Like many parents, Melissa Lewis of Elk Grove, California wanted her daughter to experience prom. However, her daughter’s high school seemed to gloss over the idea because of COVID-19. It was another blow to teenagers watching milestones pass them by. Parents said teenagers have missed out on many milestones since March of last year like high school sports games, homecoming, and now prom. 

Some parents across California reached out to their teenagers’ high schools about plans for prom. Many of them got no response, or others learned there would likely be no prom. So, parents took matters into their owns hands. 

That's how Lewis heard a story about a parent-organized prom in a suburb nearby. Lewis, too, offered to work with her daughter's school and help, but she said the school administration never took her up on it. So, she took this on herself.

"Yes, let’s make it a thing," said Lewis. "Let’s do it.”

Then, 120 parents followed her lead. She posed the question on Facebook.

"If I could manage to throw a senior ball, would anyone be interested?”

Yes, people were interested.

Parents and some students teamed up to give teenagers a prom unaffiliated with the school. It's a trend we’re seeing across California where proms are oftentimes cancelled for the second year in a row.

Earlier this month, 200 teenagers showed up to this parent-run prom. Lewis said while there have been a few critics, the community has been "overwhelmingly" supportive.

”We have local businesses who have donated food or water," said Lewis. "We have a little small town popcorn store in our community and they donated 300 cups of popcorn. So, we had a popcorn bar.”

According to Lewis, enough people donated money that these parents actually have enough money left over to plan two additional senior events unaffiliated with the school: a senior picnic and a senior sunset.

According to Lewis, the prom happened two weeks ago and since then, zero kids have tested positive for COVID-19. According to the Elk Grove Unified School District COVID-19 dashboard, as of May 18, there are zero active coronavirus cases in the entire school district.

Yes, some schools across the country are holding official, school-organized proms, but they sometimes have restrictions, like mask-wearing, social distancing, and just like Footloose --- in some cases -- no dancing. 

Lewis required parents to sign a COVID-19 waiver before their teenager attended. 

"I made sure to put in the COVID form [that] I’m asking kids to bring a mask," said Lewis. "I will not enforce the mask-wearing. I refuse to police the masks.”

News 8 reached out to different San Diego County schools to hear their plans for prom - or lack thereof. 

Poway Unified said it won’t be hosting a prom because some of its six high schools have more than 600 kids, which is more people than California tier restrictions would allow at a single event, but said there will be other events that follow state and county guidelines.

The Grossmont Union High School District said each school is taking a different approach, with one high school throwing prom on the football field outdoors and one in the school parking lot. Attendees will be required to wear a mask and either get tested for COVID-19 or show proof of vaccination.

San Dieguito Academy is throwing a “grom” or combination of graduation and prom on-campus.

As of Thursday, May 20, the San Diego Unified School District has not responded to News 8's prom questions.

Parents at Mt. Carmel High School are also throwing a private prom since the school won’t and have even launched a website, but said they would not give any formal interviews until after the prom has already happened later this month. 

Parents at Torrey Pines High School also are throwing a private prom on a cruiseship. They responded to an email, but did not respond to a request for a formal interview as of Thursday. 

Then there’s this - some parents from certain local schools are even throwing “underground proms" - tight-lipped ones where parents won’t release the address or name of the venue until the day of for fear of retaliation.

Alma Sanchez of Chula Vista’s son goes to Castle Park High School. She said she too heard crickets when she offered to work with the school to make prom happen. 

"We decided not to wait," said Sanchez, whose son is a senior.

"The senior class is not really hosting a prom this year," said Nadege Johnson of the Sweetwater Union High School District. "The event is going to be done on a more relaxed scale - more of a party than a prom."

Sanchez took a different approach. It’s a smaller event with only about 10 kids, but she said it’s the least these parents could do.

"We did what we had to do as parents, and if we could invite the whole senior class, trust me - we would," said Sanchez. "We’re going to do all the things that they would have done for prom. I think it’s going to be real special for them."

After all, it's supposed to be a special time. 

”Honestly, I support any parents trying to do it," said Lewis. "Those kids were so happy. So many of them told me like they felt like they had been forgotten.”

The California Department of Public Health has published guidelines for live events, entertainment, graduations, and schools, but nothing specifically for prom dances. 

WATCH RELATED: A special prom night for students in Poway, despite pandemic (May 2020)

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